Read below and I hope you will share with me the acknowledgment of how awesome, powerful, capable and mighty to save the God we serve is! No matter what you are facing I know our God loves you as much as He loves my son and He is right there ready to move any mountain you are facing. Just close your eyes, raise your hands, praise Him for His mercy even during your suffering and no matter where you are God will find you. He has said he will search the depths for you and He WILL find you!
It was a moment...that I won't forget. I walked into church today about 2 minutes late and the music had already started. We were good and settled in by the second song, which was "Mighty to Save," and is one of my absolute favorite songs.
Now every time we have sung this song in church it has been my Sunday morning to sing on praise team, but this morning I stood before my fellow "team" mates who were leading me in worship today and I was amazed by the power of the Holy Spirit's presence. It was one of those moments where you could actually feel the presence in the midst of a huge group and you knew something was coming.
During this song I happen to look down at Braden(5) standing beside me holding my hand. Typically, children in our church stay during the opening set until the children's time and then they leave to go to "Children's Church," until they are in Kindergarten and after that they stay the entire time.
Like a lightening bolt of electricity into my head in the middle of worshiping during this song I was convicted by God through the Holy Spirit(don't doubt it) that today Braden would stay and have his first communion. It wasn't a choice, it was a certainty. Today was the day and for what ever reason it was important that it was today.
On December the 8th, 2003 I released my 7-day-old son Tyler(Braden's identical twin) from my arms to spend eternity with our Lord, the next day when Braden almost died too I hit my knees at 2am in the hospital and begged God for his life. I promised Him that I wanted this child and would take him no matter what; no matter what complications, (surely there were going to be some from a child 12 weeks premature in heart, lung, liver and lung failure), no matter what hardships like the blindness, cerebral palsy or deafness they were almost convinced he already suffered from, no matter what inconvenience it brought to my life, I begged God to please, "let me keep him."
In that prayer I promised God my life would be committed to making sure that he knew the Lord and knew what God had done for him and helping him grow to be the man God intended him to be. In hindsight this is the defining moment in my life. The moment when everything else disappeared and I choose that day who I was going to serve. A moment where free will met with God's grace and mercy. My obedience was to still honor God despite the unreal pain of letting go of one child just the night before and showing up to the other also dying.
That night God swept through my heart, but I believe He also swept through Braden's as he made it start beating again and allowed his lungs to finally agree to let one of the ventilators work to breath for him as soon as my prayer of begging, but yet still asking for God's will to be done ended.
When I returned to the door of the NICU from praying and we looked through the tiny frosted glass that for the last 45 minutes we had been peering through only to see the doctors and nurses still frantically breathing oxygen into manually and pumping his heart for him; they stopped moving frantically. The high-pitched noise of the breathing bag stopped and as we watched the doctor who had just spent nearly an hour with our son start to walk towards that frosted glass window that we were on the other side of, we had no idea if it was to tell us he was alive or not.
That night God choose an amazing doctor to save Braden's physical life, but there is no doubt in my mind that it was that night that God claimed Braden. Whatever God has planned for Braden He needed my attention and my commitment to always trust Him and know that He knew what was best for my children and that they are simply on loan to me to share this journey with.
The road was rocky and it was months before they would even consider the fact that Braden might not die. When he was 10 months old and had been home from the hospital for a few months cold weather was approaching and Braden was going to be put on house arrest by his doctor until May. He was still on oxygen and would be for a long time, but I felt convicted that he needed to be baptized, but there were no open spaces until Nov. Our pastors were able to figure it all out and the first week of October sweet baby Braden met our church congregation as the praise team sang Selah's, "You Raise me Up."
(yes, that's him in my arms with his oxygen on)Most people who were there knew how biter sweet a moment that was. His future was still so uncertain and our hearts were still hurting so badly from our loss, but we wanted to publicly praise God and thank Him for this child no matter what.
Today was one of those moments where God lets the sweetness of life sweep all over you and I cried tears of joy as I sang knowing how far Braden has come and how faithful and merciful God is by bringing him through all of that. And despite my prayer that I would take him, want him and beg for him no matter what the cost, He allowed Braden to be completely healed with no complications, no long term issues, no delays...nothing, except a heart wide-open for God. Braden loves the Lord like I have never seen in a child and he understands God in a way that most adults don't. Healing doesn't always come in the way we hope or in the time we hope. We learned that with Tyler, but it does come in God's timing and for Gods glory, but God is always right there ready to put His arms around us and gently turn our face to the path that the light is shining on.
5 years later that same doctor stays in touch with us and has said Braden was the sickest baby they ever had to make it out.
This morning I asked Braden if he wanted to take his first communion knowing full well what the answer would be. It was a resounding and joyful, YES!!! He was so excited and sat patiently all through "Big Church" waiting. He listened to Pastor Judy's explanation of the bread and the cup and then he wanted to get into his buddy, Pastor Brad's line. As we waited I just thanked God for every second with this child and for this, the sweetness of life.
As it was his turn I knelt down with him and cupped my hands up underneath his and the pastor placed the bread in his hands knowing this was his first communion. Scott was brought to tears behind us and then we knelt and prayed. My mind could have been on Scott's 8 long months without a job, or provision for the things we need, but in this moment all I could do was acknowledge, just like the song says that, "Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save. He is mighty to save, " and what God has done for Braden will be more than I could have ever imagined.
(Braden, now 5, attempting a cannon ball)Whatever mountains you are facing...the God I know can move them.
Oh the sweetness. Thank you God for the claim you have on this child. I will probably just go ahead and start crying now and continue on for the next 3 weeks and 2 days until he starts Kindergarten.
1 comments:
Frosted Window Film
Those frosted windows can sure be tricky sometimes.
Perry Jamal
frosted window film
Post a Comment