Survivors Guilt

This doubt this is going to be what you expect so hang in there with me.

I can imagine that 24 hour news stations are struggling right now. Maybe I am wrong, but I know a lot of people who just can't hear any more bad news. They literally can not handle the stress of the reality of our world and our economy.

I know I have had to stop watching just to keep my sanity. I sort of subscribe to the 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' mentality, and maybe if we could all tune in to live breaking news coverage of amazing things that people are doing for each other then God would be extraordinarily visible to those people in need right now. Don't really see it happening, however, I think right now if there was ever an opportunity for "good" to get ratings, it is now. How much we could inspire one another.

If we simply can't watch reality news anymore maybe it is time we change our reality and make our own news in our own lives.

Who are those people in need? Well, I think everyones obvious first thought might be people like my family who despite doing everything by the book(both college grads, good job, great devoted employee) are facing unemployment, facing no health care and very real worry and fear over life in general. You might think of my neighbor to the right who also has a family to support and was just layed-off again. You might think of my neighbor to the left who last week had to pack up all his things and leave a home he has owned for nearly 7 years. He has lived in this neighborhood longer than anyone has and he simply knocked on the neighbors door and said good-bye and said I can't afford to live here anymore. So he and his two sons had to leave. I suppose he just couldn't stand to stick around for the looming foreclosure that he knew was breathing down his neck.

I live in a very middle class neighborhood and we have are a very middle class family. I look out my neighborhood and I see dads who have been the soul breadwinner of their families now pushing strollers with toddlers in the middle of the day. While I know they are thrilled to have the time to spend with their children, there is a sense of hopeless and numbness on their faces as they walk around on an otherwise perfect faux spring day in the south. The neighborhood I live in has about 60 houses and at least 30 of them are either unsold, unoccupied, abandoned or foreclosed, all in the last year.

While it breaks my heart, literally, breaks my heart to see hard working well meaning people, men and women, including my own husband, doubting their purpose, their lives and God, these are not the only people in need.

For a lot of people anger is just fear turned outward(I don't know I heard that somewhere, but it kinda makes sense) but nevertheless there are angry people. People are hurting and scared and they are looking for someone, anyone to blame. They maybe blame the boss that layed them off, or the government of before or the government of now, or maybe they blame God. Maybe they are angry at all of those people and maybe they are just angry at people in general.

I have heard the term 'survivors guilt' circulating lately in context of the economy. Survivors guilt is a very real issue. When someone is lost in an accident or natural disaster or tragedy and your life is spared, often times while there is a deep sense of gratitude for your life being saved, or your real love and God given compassion for your fellow man sets in as survivors guilt. I think this is a very real phenomenon right now. The only hesitation I have in using this term is that I don't ever want the word survivors or victims to imply any sort of blame. Someone who might be deemed a "survivor" of the economy right now, is in no way responsible or should carry any guilt for those who are considered "victims" of the state of the economy. Just like in a natural disaster or accident, it often makes no sense why it happened the way it did. We are all in this together.

The person in need I want to tell you about is my neighbor 2 doors down. He is a small business owner that has done well for himself. From the first day I met him it was clear who he gave the glory of his business success to, God!
He's one of those people that you just don't have to talk to him long to really know he loves the Lord. We were out playing in our front yard on this beautiful day today and I saw him home.

I was concerned for our next door neighbor who just disappeared and knowing they were friends I walked down to ask him if he was coming back. Sometimes you know the answers to your own questions. He confirmed that he would not be back that he said he couldn't afford his house anymore. We talked for a few minutes and I think he must have seen my husband playing in the yard with the kids and assumed what had happened. I think out of guilt he confessed to me that he had to lay off four people that week before.

Four people he knew had children, four people he knew he was taking their health insurance and that unemployment wouldn't cut it. Four people that had helped him build his business and had worked with for nine years. He looked up and saw my husband and looked at the house next door and just said, what am I supposed to do, I have three children I have to provide for.

He was tormented with guilt. He was not only taking the guilt of what he had to do to save his business, but he was also taking the burden of all that was around him, feeling like he was the cause of that somehow too. That because he was able to still hang on and make his payments and save his house that somehow it was his guilt to carry. This is a man I know loves the Lord and knows the Lord, but even he was so burdened with guilt he couldn't even see it.

I looked at my neighbor and felt so much compassion for him. Life is not easy for anyone right now and going through a lay off during a time when you know almost no one is hiring is a very scary thing. We cling to God because we know that while the world changes, God is the constant in a very scary world.

I asked my neighbor to remember one thing and that is that the God he loves and serves and the God that protects him and has a plan of good for his life loves him dearly. And- that same God feels the exact same way about the people he had to lay-off and my family and all the other families our there in the same situation. God adores us, he loves us with a passion we can't fathom. God knows that life makes no sense to so many of us and he is always there ready to step up and move in and show himself when called upon and trusted.

I told my neighbor of some of the amazing, practical ways God has shown up for our family and that while it is hard not to be afraid, we trust Him and I promised him that while not everyone saw things that way that many of us who lean on God do not blame the "survivors." That we are, in fact, praying for them too. He just looked at me and smiled and sincerely thank me as he said how much he needed that today. As I walked back to my yard, I couldn't help but think how much I needed that today too.

There are people right now who have been relatively unaffected by the economy. For whatever reason they have a job in a more stable industry that has weathered the storm. I just want to encourage all the perceived victims out there to realize that the perceived survivors are just as scared, just as uncertain about life and quite possibly are carrying a seriously heavy burden of guilt that is not theirs to bare. I went back home and told my husband what our neighbor had said and he just looked at me and said, "I can't imagine how hard that must be."

But sometimes the "perceived" enemy that you think is just living life without any concern or cares is really your next door neighbor hurting and in need of Gods grace, but maybe is so laden with guilt and concern for the consequences of what had to be done that his own life is being tormented and torn to threads.

Victim or Survivor we have to be willing to see God first It is a time when we all, no matter what our resources may be, are giving all we can to one another. If your a victim, as hard as it is swallow your pride, when one of your friends or church members wants to help realize that them helping you may be the only thing that allows them to see God in reality that day. That what they feel for you isn't even close to pity, it is genuine concern and in some cases possibly a heavy burden of guilt.

If your a victim know that the survivors and other victims need you too. You are not incapacitated because of the circumstances. You still have a calling from God to be out there and reaching people. Maybe someone blesses you with a gift card for groceries and you take two bags of groceries to your next door neighbor who has no job either and no church home. God is moving...God can move even now if we let Him. We can stifle God with our anger and fear towards whoever it is we are angry at, or we can be God for one another and hang on tight to Him while the Storm blows.

Survivors have no reason to bare any burden of guilt. The God that loves you and is providing for you, is also doing the same thing for those you may feel responsible for and through the compassion of others and provision He is giving, He might be more amazing and more visible in their lives of people in this country than ever before. Our mighty and powerful God is only limited by our own inability to see the possibilities of what he can do. As a good friend of mine says, We are the only thing that gets in the way of God.

With God, victims of this economy can become Survivors again, but without God, the ones who seem to be the Survivors might in fact be the unseen victims who suffer the greatest in their hearts.

Compassion is a calling to us all and the view from my front porch looking out and looking back inside looks very different right now, but the calling from God and Gods desire to be a part of our lives is exactly the same. There is an opportunity for believers, both economical survivors or victims, right now to see the unseen needs, to help the ignored, as well as many different opportunities to impact lives for Christ. For many people jobs are on the line, homes are on the line, cars are on the line, But most importantly, for so many, faith is on the line. While not all homes can be saved from foreclosure, or cars from being repossessed. While we may not be able to find our best friend a job and we hurt desperately for them; with the God we love and serve behind us we are never helpless. Showing love, compassion and random acts of kindness for the neighbor who may be unfairly receiving the vibes of your anger might feel like a tall order when you are hurting yourself, but Jesus shows by example that compassion and love are always the way to bury evil for good. It may not be an easy task, but it is one you won't regret. You never know your own heart might be melted and changed.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

God has a plan of good for all of us, but maybe part of the plan of good He has for all people who are hurting right now is to be lived out and to witness to one another through compassionate, humble, judgment-free, Christ-like love and service.

Sweet Blessings,
Laurie