Just enough to get by

Knowing the economic crisis is what it is, you might think by my title that this is about getting by financially.

Nope!

God called me to something a year ago. He called me and my husband and after a lot of prayer and some major "God moments," we answered with our commitment.

We joined a foster care certification class. We actually want to adopt...well, we actually feel led to adopt a little girl from the foster care system. We feel that God is telling us she will be less than 2-years-old, but we don't know that for sure.

Last Jan we started our class and in March we finished. In April we started our home study and in May we were certified by the state of NC to be foster care parents for up to two children(we already have three biological children). All last year we were anxious and excited, yet patient with the thought of "That Call" could come at any moment.

We were pleased with the fact that everything for us in this process had gone super smooth. Our kids were excited about the possibility of having a sister. We always told them that it would happen only if it was God's desire for us and they have always been very peaceful about that.

It is hard to not be peaceful when you have three perfect children. We felt God was calling us to this, but if we misunderstood, we knew we would be okay with that. This was for Him, His beckoning and we were glad to answer and excited about the possibility.

The later part of the year took its toll on many of us and like so many others my husband lost his job.
Peace! Total peace!

God never for one second left us and we knew he had a purpose. But, we still had to make a difficult call. We had to call the agency we had been working through to let them know we were no longer suitable foster care parents and why. They were so understanding as we were not the first to call with that news. They had heard it from many other potential adoptive parents.

Holidays come and passed. Husband gets a new job(PRAISE GOD) and life begins to set its course back to normal.

But we never made that call back.

God called upon us to be committed to Him and be ready to act if He were to ask. Now, even though we were back to being suitable foster care/adoptive parents no one knew because we didn't call.

Feeling a little guilty, but allowing my worries and fears over the economy and insecurity of a new job to reign in my mind, I chose to email the agency instead of call. This was a conscious decision to just get by, almost hoping they wouldn't get it right away. I knew God was asking me to act again, but in my own fears I acted the way I was comfortable with, instead of the way I should have.

2 weeks passes and I am feeling God's breath so heavy on my heart over this non-committal effort I had given, so I picked up the phone...but I waited until after hours and left a voice mail in the general box and told them that things were back to normal, at least as normal as this economy would allow.

Another two weeks would pass and again the full knowledge of my half-hearted attempt to follow God's prompting was just about all I could think about. I was afraid...what if we were given a child and this all happened again, or something worse...would they take her away?

God literally laid a burden on my heart so heavy regarding my disobedient and honestly, untrustworthy and manipulative spirit and one morning while driving to church the Holy Spirit spoke so loudly in my heart as to what I knew I was supposed to do that I grabbed my phone without even thinking and dialed the number. My sweet foster care class teacher answered.

All my fears were gone melted as our conversation continued. I told her about the email and the message, but then I said that I just felt that God said I needed to speak to someone. She thanked me and told me that they had not known our situation had changed and she was glad I called.

I still don't know if God desires for us to complete our family this way or if our family is already complete. But I do know Satan wanted me to be afraid and wanted me to forget what God has promised those who are faithful to Him. He wanted me to be content with just enough. This may have been less an act of God's path for us and more about my obedience to Him.

Had I taken any time during that month to give to God what had been worrying me I know He would have faithfully provided me peace and answers in his right timing. I know that in prayer I can honestly discern his will and not be sidetracked by fear. My 'get-by' commitment was nothing more than evidence of my desire to not give it to God because I was scared of what His answer might be.
If there is something in your life that you are withholding from God for any reason at all. Don't be scared, don't let Satan tell you lies...

God says...

"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord. "Plans only to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

No matter how scary life's issues may be, my God loves me so much that he only has plans to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future.

Who knows, now that we have released this to Him, maybe there is a little girl out there whose hope and future includes us.

Sweet Blessings